In at the deep end here with my first blog about my mental health history.
Where are we now? I'm 43, in a stable relationship (due to get married in February), my baby girl turns one tomorrow, I have a job that I love (head brewer in a micro brewery) and manage to have a few big boys toys too. It all sounds pretty good, doesn't it? Oh, I also suffer from depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation and I'm also prone to bouts of mania.
Over the years my mental health problems have cost me one long term relationship, a marriage, a home, huge debt, problems with my family, the loss of friends, crippling loneliness, zero self confidence and prior to my official diagnosis (at the age of 34) issues with using alcohol to self medicate in my teens.
Fortunately, considering my chosen line of work, the alcohol thing has been firmly put in place and I'm a much happier human being. That being said, it's never plain sailing with a head full of nonsense that is always waiting in the wings to make life difficult again.
*One thing you'll find with me is the way I will refer to my mental health issues as nonsense, an annoyance or other harmless sounding names. I'm never frightened to use terms like depression, I just find that when I'm referring to myself calling it an embuggerance makes it seem a little less scary and all consuming - it is in no way meant to sound like I'm making light of others experiences.*
I'll leave things at that for now and if my rambling hasn't bored you all to tears I'll update a little more on the life and lunacy of a Brewer soon.