Not my best weekend

Guest blog by Robert Phelps

So things have been good for me this year, my life is going well. I have settled into my new home, I am getting married in September, my work life is quite good and my group of friends is great. They are my support network even if they don’t know it.

“It’s OK not to be OK,”

I have suffered with Anxiety and Depression since I was 12 years old and back then there was no help or support; you just had to get on with it. Nowadays it is different, now it is acceptable to speak up and say, “I’m just having a bad day, I’m feeling off.”

So why did it all come crashing down on Saturday?

I had a bad day on Saturday, my anxiety and fear went through the roof!!!

My family went off for the day to different places and I had some time to spend on my own, which I haven’t done for a long while. I don’t manage being on my own very well and it was difficult. Thoughts were flying through my head, “what if something happens to one of them?”, “What if I need help?”, “What if…”

I had been worrying about it over and over in my head for the past few days which didn’t help but I decided I needed to get through this, I need my family to go off so I can overcome this and realize that it’s not that bad.

It was a struggle, I struggled to concentrate, I kept thinking things through. I couldn’t relax, I kept wondering. It was very difficult for me to just sit and relax. I tried reading a book but couldn’t get into it. I tried going for a walk but wanted to head back. I went for a drive and put some music on which helped but it was still there in my head.

It was tough and it had been difficult but on the positive I survived and I should see that as a positive.

Now they are back I feel a lot better. Isn’t it strange how the mind can grasp control of the whole body and make you think and feel horrible things?

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